There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

Your mama's so hairy, she has to shave occasionally.

In a tangential universe Crispin Glover is the head of scientology

catastrophic anthropogenic global warming

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

Wanna hear a joke? no

What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

What did the cookie monster eat? Food

How does a Welshman take a shit? Like anyone other human being does.

Jon waits in his driveway for a bit then rides off to a lemonade stand but doesn't stop because the stand is surrounded by police who have arrested the kids at the stand for selling spiked lemonade. He continues past the stand and goes somewhere else (probably Subway).

What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

A tortoise went for a run. It took him two hours to get around the corner.

What was the asian person's name? I don't know, I never met him.

what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 cantaloupe.

Violence is never the answer, its the question... The answer is YES!

KENNAH CAMPIONS LAUGH

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

What's funnier than 100 dead babies? Everything.

Your momma's so fat, diet and exercise would probably save her life!

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

A blonde a brunette and a ginger jump off a cliff they die upon impact and their families mourn for years to come.

Why didnt the vampire have a reflection? You have to be real to have a reflexion

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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