What did the taxi friver say to the man? "You forgot your briefcase"

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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a boy poops in class everybody laughs and now he has no friends

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Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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Why did the weird alien jump everywhere? You probably don't want to know. If you learned why it jumped everywhere,you probably would make fun of it. I don't know if you know this, but aliens are sensitive. If you made fun of him, you probably would create World War 3:Humans VS Aliens.

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What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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What are astronauts called in Soviet Russia? Cosmonauts

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

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Why is the melon having a wedding? Because it cantaloupe.

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why was the little boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face.

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A muslim walks out of a plane.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge. Why did Sally fall off her bike? She was hit by a falling monkey and fridge.

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

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Knock knock. Its open.

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Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

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what did the person with yellow teeth and the person with white teeth have in common? they have a nose.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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