An englishman, an irishman amd a scotsman were walking down the street. What a fine example of unionism

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Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

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How do you make a clown cry? You hit them with an axe

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Why was the man shot in the head twice? He wasn't because he died after the first and it is nearly impossible to survive a gunshot to the head.

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A man died.

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How do you get a drummer off your doorstep? Ask politely.

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A blonde walks into a bar, and hit it head on, she is now in the hospital grasping for her life but the threatening grips of hell keep pulling her into the wretched plains of fiery wrath and despair... -Avery Vartanian

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Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says nothing, because muffins cannot talk.

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Yo momma so fat, when she turns around, people give her a welcome back party!

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What do you call a Pokemon without a trainer? A wild pokemon.

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Whats in your pants, might get caught in your zipper and you may hold it all day. your pocket.

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Q: what did batman say to robin before they got into the car? A: get in the car (:

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"Knock knock..." "come in"

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jack. Honey, Jacks here, will you get the door?

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Predators face looks like what? Pussy.

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That awkward moment when sentences don't end the way you octopus.

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Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

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What did Tarzan say to the elephant?... "Hi elephant." A few weeks later, the elephant had grown a mustache and gotten a pair of sunglasses. What did Tarzan say to him then?... Nothing, he didn't recognize him.

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What's the difference between a baby and an egg? One is fun to throw at houses and the other is an egg.

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What ever happened to Sally? We don't know she went missing over 5 years ago.

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What does the Priest say to the little boy? Size doesnt matter

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How do you starve a zombie? You dont, they are allready dead.

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Q: What's worse than a black guy with a gun? A: the holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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