You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank! That's a felony. ;)

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Why did children rejoice when Michael Jackson died? Because they were at a birthday party, and only heard about his death afterward.

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selena gomez & justin beiber go in space. selena says im hotter than the sun. the way she knows this information is that she is near the sun at this time justin beiber has already drifted off in space.

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knock knock. who's there. gestapo.

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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

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Three Jews get on a train to Stockholm. How many get off at Stockholm. None. The train went straight to Auschwitz.

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Q: What's more silly than the idea of a wealthy, successful black man? A: A Clown

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Yo mama is so old, that it's becoming apparent that she is most likely developing severe senial dementia

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Why did the man kill his friend? How am I supposed to know

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Q. What did the girl on drugs get for Easter? A. Down Syndromes Disease.

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Hi im a joke i eat turtles

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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What did the douche bag get for Christmas? Your girlfriend.

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What do you put your key on? A key chain.

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Have you ever seen the movie called "The Tourist"? No

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

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Justin's life

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas ? A treadmill

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Do Your Homework: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Get An Award At School: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Figure How To Adjust The Zoom On Your Computer: Mum & Dad - WOW HOW DO YOU KNOW SO MUCH, YOU'RE SO CLEVER, WHO TAUGHT YOU THIS?! Typical ...

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

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A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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