What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas?? -nothing, he didn't make it that far

Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

Inspirational speaker: "You can judge a man by the way he treats those who can do nothing for him." Me: "Hitler loved dogs."

What were Benjamin Franklin's first words after he died? It's been 225 years and we still don't know yet.

A rooster is standing on top of a pointed bird house. He lays an egg. Which side does the egg fall, the left or the right? I don't care, I'm a vegetarian.

Why did Jessica fall off the swing? She doesn't have any arms Knock, knock Whose there? Not Jessica

What's bigger than China and Smaller than my penis? Russia and a smaller penis.

Kevin+Sean sitting in a tree enjoying mcdonald's free wifi.

Knock Knock? Whos there? Ching Ching Who? No...Ching Smith you racist!

Roses are red violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in the zoo! But don't you worry I'll be there too! But not in the Ill be laughing at you

Why do black guys have ashy elbows? Because of 9/11

What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

Guess what? Random shit. Why? Because almost nobody looks at the newest jokes to realize that 99.999% of jokes that just say random shit never get above the 0 mark.

What is pink, red and silver and crawls into walls? A baby with forks in it's eyes

A man walks into a bar. He has a nice drink and leaves.

Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

I was going to type an anti-joke but I totally forgot how it starts. It goes something like something something something something something your mom's a whore.

How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to take three harpoons to the chest and still manage to feast on a family of baby seals...... Hi my name is Joey

How did the girl cross the road? --she didn't, she died trying because she was blind and didn't see the sign that said "Don't Walk"

Your mother is so ugly that I removed her from my friends list on Facebook.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the slaughterhouse was on the other side.

A kid walks in to a bar. The bartender asks the boy where his parents are and he replies that he does not know. They call the police who proceed to try to contact the boy's parents. They have gone missing so the boy must go up for adoption. He gets adopted by an abusive family and runs away. Without a family, job, or money, he could not afford a house. He lived alone in a box until he died of starvation.

whats black and white and covered in blood Michael Jackson being stabbed

A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...