''Today is Star Wars day :)'' ''Why's that?'' ''guess'' ''I don't know :/'' ''It's May the 4th!'' ''And?'' ''May the 4th be with you :p''

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Why is it a bad idea to stand in a thunder and lightning storm with a metal rod? Because you will get wet from the rain.

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What is green, and could kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Sorry wrong door.

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How many baby's does it to paint a wall red? It depends how many you throw.

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What's the difference between a bench and a black man? The black man is alive.

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Why did the old lady talk to a tree? She had Alzheimer's and was going to die.

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How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

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Q: Whats the difference between me and a ghost? A: Ghosts arnt dolphins!

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When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

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What do you call a homeless man in Beverly Hills? Charles, Someone who unfortunately had to drop out of school at a young age to work to support his dying mother. Hence, later in life, after his mother died, lacked the education to be enrolled in college forcing him to pimp to make enough money to eat and pay for the rent in his one bedroom appartment in his hometown-Mississippi. But times were tough in Mississippi and not many people could afford a whore. This forces him to go all the way to California where he found more people there were willing to pay for a whore. Business was good and soon enough he had enough money for a decent condo. But Charles still morned the death of his mother. Eventually he couldn't take the daily pressure of being a pimp and thought of his mothers death, so he turned to heroin. Soon all his money was fueling his addiction and before he knew it he was on the street, with no one to help him and no where's to go. Every night he goes to sleep on his cardboard box with the memory of his late mother in the back of his head. Sometimes Charles wonders what he could of been if he didn't drop out of school, but he knows that what he did was the right thing.

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What's more annoying than dyslexic jokes? Jokes were peopel spel words rong.

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Q. What's the best thing to do before you get in a car accident? A. There's actually not much you can do in a car accident, considering you probably will never expect it, and it happens relatively too fast to react.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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Why did children rejoice when Michael Jackson died? Because they were at a birthday party, and only heard about his death afterward.

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why do police kill so many young black men in America? it's a difficult question that deserves a thoughtful response. many complex issues are at play, but we also feel a sense that something must be done. we cannot ignore some of the forces at work here, yet we cannot all personally take responsibility, either. or maybe he wanted to steal his girl. that shit really happens. THAT SHIT LEGIT HAPAPNES.

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there were ten in the bed and the little one said roll over so they all rolled over and one fell out then got back up and punched the little one in the face saying good night

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The man was so gay he grew breasts and got breast cancer.

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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Yo mama is so old, that it's becoming apparent that she is most likely developing severe senial dementia

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? hit him in the head with an axe

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9 + 10 = How much yo mama makes.

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I'm so hungry I could eat a horse and chase the jockey.

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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