YOU

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? I'm sleeping with your wife

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Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch pórn daily.

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Why is this anti-joke here? Because someone submitted it to this website.

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Why did all the boys come to my yard? Because of My milkshakes

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What's short, green, and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a cow? Getting raped by two cows.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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How do you stop a black man drowning? Take your foot off his head

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What did Anne Frank say to the German Officer? Nothing. She had to keep quiet in a cramp attic in order to survive.

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Q: How do you make Helen Keller cry? A: Casually remind her that she is both blind and deaf.

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? You apparently are not a fan of lemons what so ever, so you then throw them away, not knowing what to expect.

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A Penguin walk into a bar and asks "Have you seen my brother?" And the bartender replies "What does he look like?"

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I named my son ps2 controller

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We are few Nero, too few, if I want to split my money with you, would it help you find true happiness?

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Why did Shakespeare die? It's called life.

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A duck walks into a bar, clearly ignoring the 'No Ducks Allowed' sign that had been placed in the window to prevent comedic scenarios.

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Why did the woman eat her sandwich. She was hungry.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Q:what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile? A:get in the batmobile

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What do Jews and gays have in common? They both would have been killed during the Holocaust.

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teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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