Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Skeletons neither have muscles nor brains to control any muscles and therefor cannot transport themselves across a road or any stretch of land for that matter.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? She didn't, her father named the dog because he was aware of his daughters innability to speak.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, but if the ladder is shaky, you might need another to hold it up.

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Roses are red, Violets are too. You're bleeding out, I stabbed you.

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How many fish does it take to brush their teeth? Jp's worth of fish isn't enough.

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A man walks into a bar. He was the barman. [L]

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Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

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A Muslim man gets onto a transatlantic airliner. All the other passengers are privately nervous, but no one mentions it.

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Q: what's green and has wheels? A: a john deere tractor

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rodents are bed violents are glue i have lysdexia and short attention spa

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Why did the boy wear glasses? Because he had bad eyesight.

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What is worse than going to school? Nothing.

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How much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The Holocaust

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Why 't the blonde dial 911? Because phones haven't had dials on them for at least 40 years or so. She can however punch it in on her keypad.

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If pro is the oppisite of con what is the oppiste of progress Congress

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What did Helen Keller say to her friend? Nothing. If you didn't know, she was deaf and blind so she had to use Sign Language.

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Where is Jew University? Berlin, Germany

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What's big fat and hairy? Peter

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm bad at poetry Potato

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A guy with cancer walks into a bar... No one treated him any special way, it's not like he had I have cancer written on his forehead.

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Yo mama so ugly, she has to work harder than most women to attract men.

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a fat man walks out of mcdonalds

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay guys house Knock Knock Who's there? The chicken

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?? Cause he got hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops