Q: What do you call a pig with wings? A: Pigs don't have wings.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I don't always drink beer but when I do, I viciously beat my wife and children.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How many different ways can you kill a cat? 27, unless you live in Russia then it's 28

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the cops beat up rodney king? Resisting arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Do you believe in love at first site? Or should I walk by again?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a kid with no friends? ....a Sandy Hook survivor

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane where having a bet on who could swim the furthest without getting wet on their hair. The Swede could have done better... The Dane did surprisingly well. The Norwegian, being bald, was disqualified. Moral: I still have some hair left!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why do Vampires drink your blood? Because the movie maker needed a story

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Proof that the Chicken came first than the Egg is all in the good book. It's called, The Dictionary!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what's purple and plastic purple plastic

thumb_up thumb_down -20

You heard now that you can not only bet safe at net casinos, but also win safely? Win safely? The hell does that mean? You mean you could win unsafely before? Like the betting casino crashing after you win a million? Moral: That crap is even less moral than I am ffs! Now they give you like 5000 game bucks free just to get you addicted.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Yo Mama's so fat Everyone is very concerned for her Health.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Jim has five apples. He gives two apples to Joe. What is left? Fruit

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What happens when an antijoke and a joke comes together? Unicorns mate with Neil Patrick Harris

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the goose cross the road? Because the chicken was on vacation

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Erm Wait why would a chicken be on the side walk in the first place?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's the difference between car keys and truck keys? Literally nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A black man walks into a bar and orders a shot. He then precedes to drink it.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Well, its Eliza again, sorry to bother you Nero, I always thought you where good looking but I know that when it comes to you its not about the looks, you are far more than meets the eye. Neo-Nero was the guy we met at a certain meeting, the arrogant guy with the big forehead whose arms where shaking remember? I wont reveal more for his sake, he did not mean bad, he was just angry like the rest of us and felt responsible, again like many of us. So when can we meet you? I assume you wont be arriving soon, but Id really apreciate seeing you again, and considering neither I nor my parents (I asked them) have the money to come visit you, id appreciate a loan or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are red, Violets are blue, this is stupid, Violets are purple Violets are purple Oranges are orange Nothin' rhymes with orange wait.... DOORHINGE!!!!! -sincerely, That famous Orange on YouTube

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What is a Zebra? Zebras (/?z?br?/ zeb-r? or /?zi?br?/ zee-br?)[1] are several species of African equids (horse family) united by their distinctive black and white stripes. Their stripes come in different patterns, unique to each individual. They are generally social animals that live in small harems to large herds. Unlike their closest relatives, horses and donkeys, zebras have never been truly domesticated.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops