What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

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A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

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why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

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A man is unemployed, ugly, short, fat, smelly and stupid. That's what she said.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Let's go play on our bikes.

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Under Chuck Norris' beard, there is a chin.

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YOLO

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What is red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

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Jim: Why did the chicken cross the road? Bill: Why? Jim: To get to the other side! Bill: I don't get it Jim: It's an anti-joke, because you expect a punchline but there is no punchline, you get it? Bill: Hold on, let me tickle myself.......oh okay now I get it hahahahaha!

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What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

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what do you call your mama at the gas station

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A bar walks into a man. No, firstly it wasn't a man and secondly the bar didn't walk in. The pedophile just slid it in and sodomized the poor boy.

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I have a meeting with a man about a horse. I have a chance to win the triple crown. Barboro is gonna do awesome. Oh wait he is dead.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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whats in a red suit with a white beard and jolly......st.nick jerking of and blowwing a load in your stocking while taking a shit on you coffee table before theen hanging it back up over the fire place

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whats black and white and red all over? ...a nun in a blender

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How do you get a cow off a swing? Hit it with an axe.

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Why did Todd have intimacy problems? He was molested as a child.

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What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

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What do Vladimir Putin and a snake have in common? A central nervous system, to name but one of the many biological similarities.

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Two friends are sitting on a couch watching TV. One friend accidently turned on a pornography channel. The other friend felt awkward and went home.

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Stevie Wonders said to his friend, "Have you seen my house?" "No" "Neither have I"

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You know what rhymes with school? Hell.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'who the f*ck let a horse in here, get it out now'.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops