Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks. The rest of the bar patrons are thoroughly confused.

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Q: Why wasn't the baby playing with his blocks? A: Because his face was stapled to the floor

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What do gamers call an abortion on quintuplets? PENTAKILL!!!

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Knock Knock Who's there? 20 20 Who? 24

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Roses are red, They are also violet, yellow, white, pink, orange, purple, or orange.

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why did the boy die he had a raging case of cardiovascular disease

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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I can still remember the last words my brother said before he kicked the bucket. "Hey you guys,how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

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lil billy wuz killed cuz of hiz relijuz beliefz

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when your out of toilet paper what do you do? get more

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The world blows up and everyone except for one man and his house make it out alive "Knock knock" "Whos there?" "Me" "Me who?" "Ummmm, its me, duh" It turns out the man was very bored and decided to go knock on his own door and tell knock knock jokes

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How can you tell if there is an idiot at a dogfight? When someone pits a Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a moron at a dogfight? When someone BETS on the Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a cheater at a dogfight? When the victory goes to the Chihuahua.

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A man walks into a bar, gets caught in a knife fight, and dies horribly. The funeral was closed casket.

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Well, first of all, what I have overcome both mentally (trauma) and physically (lots of shit) is in the past, lets leave it there. Second yeah, I can basically shift my sense of left and right at will, meaning I can choose which arm to write with, and write things mirrored without even thinking about it, I can fool my senses basically, one second I struggle playing the piano because I have just trained with one, then I make my brain believe I have been practicing with both, its simple, but complicated to explain, while my ears are perfectly normal, I got two sets of balance nerves, it just gets more complicated from there.

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Tifa my ass, if that is your name buddy, then I am Nicholas Cage, or why do you not just call me Cloud Strife? Seriously, if you are a guy just say it and get lost, I will still honor my agreement and show up and see what I can do for your little order though, you pay the trip and the stay of course.

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What did the black person say to the other black person? Im really white, I just want to fell what its like to be black.

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Why did the cow cross the road? He was in the moooooooood.

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Q: What starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? A: "Fred is raping your sister with a puck."

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You know what they say about big shoes? Big socks. You know what they say about big socks? Big feet. You know what they say about big feet? Big hands. You know what they say about big hands? Cancer.

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Q: Why didn't Jack go up the hill? A: He had prior engagements.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and so am I

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what did the boy say to the alien? ET i will protect you. The alien slaps him for being stupid

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What did the commentor say when he saw the "waht's worse than finding a worm in your apple...the holocaust." joke? I am offended to your cruel referance to worms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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