A man questions wether a cat will always land on it's feet. He takes a cat from a pet store and tosses it into the air. The cat lands on it's feet. Startled, the cat runs into the street and gets hit by a car. The man goes to prison for theft and animal abuse.

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Nero, listen, do not try to imply that you created the Iron man method, that was developed by many people over the duration of many years in the former underground society. You seem far too educated to be the savage you claim to be, if I told you that our people will do the uttermost to see if we can fix that eye of yours and succeed, will you forgive my failure and imperfections as a leader? Look at it this way, I am a leader, not a ruler, what my followers do is up to them, but if they cannot understand that they have to pay the consequences behind their actions, they have no place within the order, as for the expression "my order" it is simply what my many followers like for me to say, not because they are unwilling to take responsibility, but as a token of praise. Our articulations and means of expressing desire and such are very much the same, have you ever been part of our order?

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News:Little boy found dead in old man's white van. Turns out the old man goes to the store and when he comes back the little boy chokes on an apple.

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What did a Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know, I don't speak Chinese.

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What did the blade of grass say to the other blade of grass? Nothing, as grass does not have the capability of speaking and does not have a brain, all it has is a complex life system where it feeds off water. If it were to say anything though, it would say, "Hey! We're both blades of grass!"

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* pretend your an orphan Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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Will you please answer one question for me? "Yes" Thank you. -walk away-

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Q how do you feel? A with a series of nerve endings, that send signals to my brain

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Twinkle twinke little star How I wonder what you are? Star: (Noun) A fixed luminous point in the night sky that is a large, remote incandescent body like the sun.

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Q. how to kill the germ on a food. A. wash it with bleach.

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What did the dinosaur say to the human? For one, dinosaur's don't talk. And two, humans were not roaming the Earth during this time.

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Q: How many Jews can you fit in a 4-seater car? A: 4

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What's the difference between a woman? Apart from the differing reproductive systems and body organs, women are characterized by a need to create food.

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Is this the Krusty Crab? Yes.

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How do you drown a fish? You don't...

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Have you seen Stevie Wanders new house? No. Neither has he.

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The joke below this comment is stupid. Lets go Mets

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Your momma is so fat, when she bent down to get a peice of wood, she fell down the steps.

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A black man walks into a white man on the street. The white man viciously beats the black man.

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What are three things an average teenager cannot live without? Oxygen, Food, and Water. Duh.

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A man said hello to a woman. He was italian...

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How do you confuse a Blondel? Tell her there's a demon in her liver

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar, he doesn't let a minor disablity distract him from having a good time.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops