Roses are black violets are black I can't hear anything I'm Helen Keller .

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

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Want to hear a joke? I hope not because I don't know any.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Whos there Not Susie What did Susie get for Christmas? I don't know , she never opened it. Who high fived Susie? No one Why did Susie die? She got shot in the face

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Q. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman? A. Cause you have to hollow out it's head! A blonde walked into a doctor's office with two burnt ears. The doctor asked her, "What happened to your ear?" The blonde replied, "I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear. Still not satisfied, the doctor asked, "Well, what happened to the other ear?" "The sucker called again!"

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Why did Mr. Cannon dies Because he got shot as an undercover cop in south america

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How many Ethiopians can you fit in a car? Five in your standard sedan

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a Gay Man Walks Into A Bar And See's its Only Women In There, He Screams And Leaves

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What is worse than menopause? Falling down the stairs breaking your next....

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Why was the man burnt? Cause he fell in a fire

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Q: Why did the kid get Christman presents in August? A: Because it was cheaper than chemotherapy.

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Whats green and has white spots? Idk im asking you

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Jokes=Funny Anti=Opposite Anti+Joke=Anti Joke Anti Joke= Anti Humour Anti Humour + People= Offensive Jokes Offensive Jokes= Often jokes about women Offensive Jokes=Problems Women=Problems

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, incapable of understanding the human languages, promptly shits on the floor and leaves...

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What did the gym coach tell his student? Come on! You can do it! Push harder!

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when Life gives you lemons, make lemonade. So i made some lemonade. Turns out the lemons Kawazaki Life gave me were poisoned and i shortly die afterwards. i wouldve died cursing out her name but she was cute so i forgave her in my mind. and thus i die in peace.

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How many tickles can you give an octopus? Ten tickles

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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What's worse than getting full-blown AIDS? Finding a half-eaten worm in your apple.

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people say i have big feet but you know what the say about people with big feet? :) big socks. sl

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Knock knock Who's there Done Done who? Done with waiting out here, let me in you dick!

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What do you get when you cross a rooster with a cocker spaniel? Nothing, because roosters and Dog's don't mix.

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In the time it has taken you to read this, a small African child has died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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