If life gives you lemons, You have a problem and you might need medicine.

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Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

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Cheetahs run at an alarmingly fast rate for short periods of time. Until I shoot them with harpoons.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut, you ***ing racist.

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What is worse than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Obama

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What did the man say after being hit by a bus? Nothing he is now dead.

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what did the man say to the sad woman? go make ma a sammich before i hit you again! the women refused and was hit again.

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yolo your orange looks orange

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how do u make a snooker table laugh? TICKLE ITS BALLS HAHA

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Why did it look like the girl peed herself? Because she peed herself

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Man 1: Not to be gay or anything, but I really like your shirt, it looks nice on you. Man 2: Not to be gay or anything, but I like men.

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What did the comedian say when he fell off the cliff? Nothing; dead beings are incapable of performing actions.

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Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No?

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Hitler: A jew walked into a bar... jokes, it was a gas chamber

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

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What do you call an office worker with no arms or legs? A paraplegic.

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Roses are red Violets are violet Why does it go like that anyways? ~Yasmin~

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Women's rights

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Why does everyone love Randy Jackson? Well it's sure not because he's black.

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The black man at the narcotics anonymous meeting said, "oh, this isn't bingo is it?" then walked out of the room feeling mildly embarassed.

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Knock knock! Just kidding.

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friends are like onions when you chop them up you cry but when you throw them out of a window, you dont

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Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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