What color is the grass on Bob's lawn? Bob lives in a apartment.

how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

A baby seal walks into a club.

the NAACP

What's green and smells like a dirty whore? A dirty whore

What do you call a cow lying on a barn floor? A cow

Why does Billy hate waiting in line? Because he's impatient.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

A girl asks her best friends: Why are you only wearing one earring? The best friends replies: Because I took the other one out.

Why was the boy so tired? He had to carry his moms dead body up the stairs.

What did santa claus get the boy with cancer for christmas? Nothing. Santa is not real and thus incapable of granting christmas wishes.

A man walks inta pet store looking for a dog. All he finds are cats.What did he end up buying. A weasel

Knock knock Who is there? Your mom Your mom who? STOP WITH THIS GAME AND JUST OPEN THE DOOR!

What did the farmer say when he finally found his tractor? 'Where's my tractor?'

Roses are red Oranges are orange Nothing rhymes with orange Forever alone

Two men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

Hey Lady Gaga, Madonna called, she wants her clothes back; she lend them to you weeks ago for a concert because you didn't have anything to wear and you haven't returned them yet.

Why did Susie start shaking? She had continuous ceasars

Q. Why did the television set turn on? A. Because someone pressed the power button.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

What is worse than a nuke exploding? Going to the hospital and finding out you have cancer and aids.

What happens when you go swimming in the rain? You get wet.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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