A man walks into a bar. After recovering, he sues the bar for it's irregular glass doors.

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

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How many victims of the holocaust does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero. They're all dead you sick fuck.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Rhetorical question.

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roses are red violets are blue i take pleasure in the simple things in life as i have nothing else left to live for

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Why did the bunny hit the drum? It didn't because it did not have the mental capacity or physical capabilities to do so

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What do you call a blue horse with two legs and five eyes? A blue horse with two legs and five eyes.

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why did jimmy's mom fall off the cliff? i dont know.

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Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he was hungry. The teacher would stupid to say it was a piece of cake

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what is red and lies on the floor? the boy that jumped out of the plane

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Of course, the capacity to create a better society, is well within the natural limits of humankind, we do not need Gods in order to be strong, honorable kind, respectful, and so on, we do not need empty promises. We only need, to use our potential as humans, believe in it, and do our best only, if we desire the best results, take care of those that suffer, and believe that they will be there for us when we need them. We can all do it, humanity, yet choosing a lifestyle where we become peasants or soldiers, all promised happiness AFTER we have lived our lives, is what the people have decided. This is the extent of the average man and woman, even if it is far beyond the power of humanity.

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What do you get when you cross an ugly hobo and a diabetic? Don't talk about your mom like that.

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I would tell you a joke about a broken pencil, but it's pointless.

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Whats the difference between a hoover and a harley? one is a vacuum, and the other is a motorcycle.

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What did the woman get for Christmas? Cooking oil and a black eye.

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My mother's star sign was Cancer. Ironic how she died really. She was attacked by a giant crab.

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This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

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Justin Beiber is a good singer

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? hypothermia.

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PLEASE DONT READ THIS OR YOU'LL BE DIED IF YOU DONT THUMBS UP THIS LIKE POST THIS ON 20 MESSAGES OR YOU'RE BEST MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR LIFE WITHIN THE NEXT 7 DAYS

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A horse goes to the mall and when he is in the checkout line there is a man at the cash register the man at the cash register says "Why the long face?" and the horse replies "hey buddy, watch it!!!!!!!"

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What is the similarity between fake rings and your mother? They change colors in the shower

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A man walks into his cubicle and sits down. After a long day of work, he goes home and happens to die whilst eating dinner.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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