Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Help i have fallen and i cannont get up Life alert life alert To bad just sit there we dont care

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? hit him in the head with an axe

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Q: What did Mr. Spoke say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

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Two members of the KKK walk into the bar into a bar. The bartender asks, "what do you think of Obama?" One of the KKK members says "he is my President, I respect him."

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

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Sam Hengal.

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Knock knock Who's there? The chicken that crossed the road

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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Why doesn't Helen Keller know how to drive? because she's a woman.

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What happened to George's pet rock? It ran away.

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What do you call a truck full of dead babies? Not enough.

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m

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DERP

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Q.If I have four apples and billy has 4 oranges, how many pancakes will fit on the roof. A. 3 because aliens like purple hats.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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What did the construction worker bring with him to work? - Tools

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What do you call an animal killed on the side of the road? A false accusation towards an inanimate object that has no other purpose then providing a safe and smooth ride for drives all around the world.

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[] [] Those are eyes These are teeth

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Roses are red. Violets are grey. People hate me. Mongoose.

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How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

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What's brown and smells like shit? An oddly shaped birthmark on a dirty homeless man

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Q. What did the mom say to the boy scout? A. He wouldn't be a happy camper.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops