Roses are red, violets are violet. I'm not stupid.

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What ended the black family's picnic? Rain.

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You know whats better than cold pizza? Winning a nobel prize.

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Q: What kind of punch do vampires drink ? A: None... It's really blood, you should know that by now.

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What do you call a taxi driver eating on a gourmet restaurant? A taxi driver.

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Why did Kurt Cobain commit suicide? Because it was drug related

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Q: Whats black and green and goes 100 mph? A: A black and white car going 100 mph.

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Your mom is so fat That the salesman advised her not to buy the tight dress

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What do you a black man who isn't flying a plane? Well, that depends on his occupation.

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Whats worse than getting raped by jack the ripper? Getting fingered by captain hook.

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Anti-jokes are funny.

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What do you call a black guy in a Walmart? A customer. You prejudice dullard!

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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What's worse than bombs? Nukes

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Is your refrigerator running? yeah oh...just wondering.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What did the caninibol do when he duped his girlfriend He wiped

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Why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory? She made skittles.

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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I went to school. Then I came home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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