What did the boy without arms get in his Christmas present? A pair of gloves. Just kidding, he didn't open it yet.

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eat a hot dog

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What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than that? Two dead babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than that? Two dead trees naild to a baby.

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Oh you're dating my ex? Do you want my unfinished sandwhich too? And my old shoes? And a couple of my shirts I don't wear anymore? How about a my toys I used to play with? Or my spoiled pickle that's been in my car for about a year and a half after I went to the mall with my friends, we watched a movie, I don't remember which one it was but it was funny, then after that we went to McDonald's and it was the first time I heard of McGangbang and it was pretty good. After that I think we went to Jerry's cousin's house, he was a cool guy until I found out that he likes Tyga, so I ended up never talking to him again.... I went off topic, sorry

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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What do you get six year old Hitler for his birthday? An Easy Bake Oven

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ADAM FANTUZZI SUCKS KIRANS BALL SACK

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Q:Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: he isn't because 6 and 7 are both concepts that cannot have fear like a living being

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A horse enter a bar, and the barman says: "why the long face?" The horse has cancer

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Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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Why did the woman put super glue on her sun glasses? Because she stepped on them and they broke.

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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what's worse then a blowjob?

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What is the difference between England and yogurt? One is a Western-European country and the other is a dairy product.

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I'm not wearing underwear. Why? Because I have built in underwear. :)

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Why did the car get sucked up by the tornado? Because it was in Pilger, Nebraska.

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So this squirrel is walking across the road when a HUGE truck comes and smashes him beneath the tire.

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How do you kill a dwarf? You put rope around his neck and attach the other end to a concrete slab. Proceed to then through him in the ocean.

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What did Jay Z say to his long lost friends? Allow me to reintroduce myself, my names Jay - Z

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YOLO You only like Oreos

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Knock knock. Who's there? To To Who? To Whom.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you", the grasshopper replies, "you have a drink named Bob"

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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