I was going to tell a joke about your mom's vagina, but that's overused.

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How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

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what did the man with Alzheimer's say to his son? who are you!?

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Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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So I'm balls deep in this 9 year old...

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whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

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What do you call it, when a jew makes fun of a black guy? Racism.

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What do you say to a jew with blood on his leg? Are you okay?

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Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? It depends on how sound is defined

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree??? Because it was dead.....

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Man hears son masturbating in room. The dad enters the room and tells him "Son if you keep jacking off you will go blind". The boy replies "Dad I"m over here".

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Did you hear the one about the guy who couldn't tell any funny jokes? He went to Anti Joke and posted 1000's.

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Why aren't there any black flesh-colored bandages? Good question.

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Why did the boy miss the toilet when he was peeing? Cause he was in the shower.

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Why don't women drive more? Because statistically the man offers to drive more frequently

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

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How many pastry chefs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. It's a fairly simple job.

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About numbers, it was 180 mg of valium... And I am going to live becausepeople got there in time, my heart never stopped because luck, the doc was only making a joke about me "having ingested enough valium to die at least twice". Sanders, I just got your girlfriend to agree to a threesome, if my banana ever wakes up again, AND WHEN... Thou areth forgiven, btw I sent him a picture of Line`s unshaved vagina, and a note stating: U recognize this? Find out more on horsehead network! Meh His name is Anders something Chattington, yeah for all that know him, guess whose finger is on her unshaven... Yeah, maybe you should not have messed with a guy that can have ANYONE. Ps: Then its your mother, then your sister which is 17 (and pretty 16 is legal here so fuck you Chatty!) and then I SHALL STRIKE THY WITH THE VENGEANCE OF A THOUSAND SUNS! Because you are forgiven, which I cant even remember what means, I mean I know I am typing my experiences here, but thats only because I remember by muscle memory where the buttons are, said the doctor... I can still play Snes emulators... Not, because my numb fingers cant click anything and Line is gone. I TOUCHED HER ALREADY YA KNO! YOU SAW THE PIC, My skin is tan, and... well you know she is here... The best part? She is totally okay with you knowing, sayonara pal, id watch the "fluor" in your mothers pussy the next time you eat it!

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How did the chef bake 20 muffins for the king? My name is Bob.

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Q: what's white on the top and black on the bottom? A: Society

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead of getting hit by the plane because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and ever since he was 8 years old he has wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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