Why was lil' Susie screaming horrifically? Nobody knows. That's why the neighbors called the cops. -Harrison

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Why did Jenny fail her driving test? She was hit by a train.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

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A man jumped off a cliff. He died.

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when life gives you lemons, force a hobo to eat them because lemonade is going to suck if life doesnt give you any sugar.

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A hat fell into the Indian Ocean. What happened to the hat? It got wet

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what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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What did the Pedophile say to the small girl? I have served my sentence and been successfully rehabilitated. Please continue playing out in public without fear of being sexually assaulted.

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I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. But it wasn't actually getting bigger, it was just getting closer. So I got hit in the face.

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One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver. She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so. She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you." He replies "BREASTS."

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I hate it when people dont finish there sen

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Knock Knock... Who's there? JUST LET ME IN!

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Why did the Fly die? Cause it died the average life span is 30 days.

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What do Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson have in common? The same first name.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

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What is the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The word anti before anti-joke.

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Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

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Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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Roommate 1: I want to make food but I'm not going to Roommate 2: Why not? Roommate 1: Because I'm tired and lazy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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