What did the fork say to the spoon? I have tongs and you don't. Ha.

A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

Roses are red Violets are blue Your window is open I'm watching you

:) Hey AMBY VALENT! Want to join our horsehead show below?? *Laughing track with that fat loud bitch that wont stop laughing making the actors stare at each other like douches* :/ Muuh, I dont really care im just some meh character anyway so yuh...' *Laughing track* ? ???? ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA! :( Hey get outta our show here you China man! *OOOH! Track plays with some fa*ott whistling* ? ???? | Baka! *leaves* *Awww track plays* *Laughing track*

Roses are red. Violets are blue. At least that's what I've heard, I'm blind.

Your mom is so fat, she went to the hospital, and they intern, turned her exess fat into 12 babies.

One walrus says to the other, "Why are you shaking like that?" The other walrus says, " I've been addicted to ectasy for three years. It's ruining my life."

Q: Whats black and green and goes 100 mph? A: A black and white car going 100 mph.

what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

What do you call a Mexican that sails a ship? A sailor

What kind of ship never sinks? Not the Titanic.

why did the chicken cross the road? to form the basis of an extremly popular jokewhich would grace the schoolyards around the world for centurys to come!

Why did the white woman press charges against the black guy? Because he raped her

Knock, Knock? Who's there? Its Gilly.

when life gives you lemons, force a hobo to eat them because lemonade is going to suck if life doesnt give you any sugar.

Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana you glad I didn't say banana?

Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

Rebecca Black. That's it. That's the joke.

I hate it when people dont finish there sen

What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

What do Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson have in common? The same first name.

I was having sex with thisgirl and now I'm going to be a dad. All because I didn't wear a condom

What do you get when a black man crosses a white man on the street? A black man and a white man on the street..

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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