How many dead babies can you fit in a child's swimming pool? 9 (Trust me, you won't be able to squeeze the tenth one in there.)

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Yo momma's so old, she lives in a nursing home and is on various medications that she needs to take to stay in optimum health.

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Why doesn't Andy wanna bend over to puck something up? That's how he got assraped!

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Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

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A whole 'nother.

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I saw a TV show last night. And it was good.

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How much hard work does it take to become a man? To get to the other side!

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead penguin

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I met this girl and we really got along, then one night she tied me up, I thought she was getting kinky...then she ripped my face off....

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Knock Knock Who's there? Charles Grodin. Charles Grodin who? Exactly.

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why do Vampires drink your blood? Because the movie maker needed a story

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Bob is asleep. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT BOB

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Whats green and can kill you when it falls from a tree? a pool table

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Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

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What's worse than breaking your neck on a trampoline? Getting in a car crash on the way to the hospital.

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why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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hi joshua

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what did one dog say to his sex partner? woof woof

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roses are red violets are blue my dick is long longer then you

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How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

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George Lopez never said anything funny in his life.

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Why did the prostitute begin to cry when she saw the chinese patron's penis? His testicles are diced onions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops