how do you get a cat out of a tree? shoot it

What do you call the branch of Science that separates the organism's race? RACISM

I don't always browse the internet. But when i do i prefer Anti Joke.con

Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

How did the little boy with cancer run in his running race??? Very Well....

What's the difference between a duck? They are mostly the same, only one leg is shorter.

Why did the blonde lose her job as a teacher? Because she was in a sudden and violent car crash in which she died a slow agonizing death.

What do you get when you cross isopropil alcohol,ammonia; dish detergent fluid, water, vinegar, and lemon oil? Window Cleaner.

How do you make an idiot in suspense?

what would you get if you combined a sixth grader with a machine gun? A homophobe

Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? Billy was a loaf of bread.

Give one reason for not visiting a hotel. Basil Fawlty is the manager.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

How do you make a clown happy then sad? You give him pot then shoot him in the foot

How did the Mexican cross the border without getting caught? He didn't; he was executed immediately.

what's the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? dolphins aren't ghosts!!

Why do men not get cullulite? Because it's ugly.

How do you make lady gaga cry? Give her bad romance haven't you heard this joke before......DUMBASS

why did nick leave school? bECAUSE HE WAS RETARDED

A man walks into a bar. His family has died in a tragic accident and he is trying to drink down the pain.

I asked her where you were.

Knock Knock Who's There? Betty Betty Who Betty Sue Never heard of ya I'm here from the management. You have a present. I don't care, we don't take kindly to you city folks. But Sir, If you don't take this I will have to ask you to leave. Well what is it. It's your bill. Knock knock Who's there? Cowabunga! Cowabunga Who? Moo Moo alalalalalal woohoo i'm so high

What did the alphabetical soup spell for little Bobby? U gOt SUzie prEgnant ....... aGaiN

Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no possible way for humans and chickens to communicate with each other. Therefore we cannot know.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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