Nero, listen, do not try to imply that you created the Iron man method, that was developed by many people over the duration of many years in the former underground society. You seem far too educated to be the savage you claim to be, if I told you that our people will do the uttermost to see if we can fix that eye of yours and succeed, will you forgive my failure and imperfections as a leader? Look at it this way, I am a leader, not a ruler, what my followers do is up to them, but if they cannot understand that they have to pay the consequences behind their actions, they have no place within the order, as for the expression "my order" it is simply what my many followers like for me to say, not because they are unwilling to take responsibility, but as a token of praise. Our articulations and means of expressing desire and such are very much the same, have you ever been part of our order?

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What's more fun than thumbing down a shit joke? Thumbing down a shit joke which is neutral previous to your disliking giving it a little negative number.

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Why are women so obsessed with not having penises? I'm serious. Imagine an ordinary woman out there, who is not doing any of the activities that the women-not-having-penises thing is famous for. But I can pretty much guarantee that under her clothes at that very moment, she isn't having a penis. And for no good reason. Sometimes I suspect women keep up the no-penis thing even in their sleep. Frankly, I find that creepy. Why are women so obsessed with not having penises?

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If Johnny has 5 apples and Susie has 7 apples, will they give them to the homeless?

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Q:Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? A: Neither did she

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What do you call a bunch of Cubans on a boat in the Gulf of Mexico? A guy who just so happens to own a boat and is on a fishing trip with his buddies. -Mitch Hastings

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? a new bike.

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A man is taking a shower in jail where he drops the soap. He proceeds to pick the soap up and cleans the rest of his body, puts his orange jumpsuit on and returns to his cell.

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A man said to a performer performin in a concert,"Go break a leg!". The performer did not respond because he is perfoming.

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mom and dad went into the bedroom after a long day at work the fell asleep

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are dead

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what do you call a black person who flies a plane? a pilot, you racist

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Q. Why did little suzy fall off her swing? A. She dosen`t have any arms. Knock knock. Whos there? Not Suzy.

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one of my friends died of heartburn today :( i cant believe gav is gone

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Why did Tiarnan not ride is bike to school today. Tiarnan's dead.

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Crime in a hen house. All hens killed. Police found the suspected fox quickly and asked him if he have done it. No - he said. But it was him.

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How do you make an onion cry? Kill the chef.

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Yo mamas so fat she hates her life and the example she sets for her children.

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Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

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Two muffins are cooling on a windowsill. One muffin says to the other "It sure is a beautiful day today." The other muffin says "Holy shit! A talking muffin!"

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roses are grey violets are grey i am a dog woof woof

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Two muffins are in the oven. They don't say anything because muffins can't talk. The end.

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What happens when you put a baby, a dog and a cat in the same bag They will all most likely suffocate if left in the bag too long

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How many chickens did Moses bring to the ark? 2

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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