Whats pink red and silver? A baby chewing on reason blades. Whats pink red silver and smells bad? Same baby two weeks later.

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A woman is carried out of a bar.

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Why was George Washington buried in Virginia? Because he was dead.

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Romney: I think you would raise our debt and make more Americans jobless. Obama: It's just cuz I'm black!

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a sausage maker buys a box of cereal

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I'm not wearing underwear. Why? Because I have built in underwear. :)

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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What is the difference between England and yogurt? One is a Western-European country and the other is a dairy product.

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Why did the woman put super glue on her sun glasses? Because she stepped on them and they broke.

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what's worse then a blowjob?

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"I see" said the blind man to the deaf man... On the phone

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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why did a guy try to rob me? because he was black.

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Jerry: Hi what's your name? Bob: My name is bob. Jerry: Bob, nice to meet you, my name is Jerry. Bob: Nice to meet you Jerry.

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What's one plus one? 2. Two legit, two legit to quit, hey, hey... What's one plus two? 3. Easy as abc, 123, abc, baby you and me. What's one plus three? 4. hes a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow.

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"Hey, did you hear that the Dungbeetles got a divorce? They live in California so she got half his shit."

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Ask me what my name is. What's your name. My name is Jeff.

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Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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What's the difference between an Asian bookkeeper and a Jewish dog? This isn't a joke, it's an assignment for school, I need to write a 3 page paper on this. Any ideas?

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A man recently set the world record for jumping into a foot of water from 50 feet high. Luckily, this made the clean-up rather simple.

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¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ _________________________________________ That's a road. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot that made this joke, me. And what did the idiot do? He ate it with barley. There was food poisoning. Where did the idiot's vomit go? In yo poo.

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Why was the grandomther crying? She just got pepper sprayed.

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What's worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The holoca- *the man hearing the joke then pulls out a desert eagle and shoots the man in the chest before finishing the joke then goes to jail for the rest of his life*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops