A blonde drank an entire fruit smoothie in one sitting. She got a brain freeze.

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what do you do if you get in a car wreck with a black man get out of your vehicle and exchange insurance information

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so a blind man walks into a bar, then a chair, then a table.

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God is the English name given to a singular being in theistic and deistic religions who is either the sole deity in monotheism, or a single deity in polytheism. He (I use the term 'He' as it is the most common conception) is said to be omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, and omnibenevolent. I highly doubt he will give you lemons.

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What do you call a black man who likes watermelon and fried chicken? Someone who likes good food.

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A woman gets home from bying tampons to use later in the month. She walks into the house and sees a heart box with a note from her husband of 5 years. The note reads: Roses are red - violets are blue - Fudge Is Sweet - Heres some Fudge...........She then puts the note down, eats the fudge, and has diarrhea a few hours later. The husband comes home and feels bad because he forgot that fudge upsets his wife's stomach. Later that night the wife asks her husband to have anal sex with her. The husband agrees but later regrets his action since his dick is now discolored and smells of shit..........Two days later the family dog dies. The wife and husband mourn. I like cheese

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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How do you get rid of Herpes? You can't.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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Roses are red violets are blue, your library book is overdue, and if you dont pay the fine...i'll punch you in the mouth.

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People who find just saying 69 is the funniest thing ever.

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A deer looks at the ground and sees something strange. He wonders what it could be. A rabbit comes along and thinks the same. A badger promptly arrives after the rabbit and thinks the exact same. 4 seconds later they all get hit by a train.

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roses are red violets are pink your nanas in the cowfeild with a bottle of stink... not really shes long gone.

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A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Q. what has 2 tums and a boner. A. a horny guy <3

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A russian, a jew, and a black guy are walking down the street. The midget trips and knocks into the jew who in turn knocks into the black guy. It turns out that they all know each other from high school. They ended up going out for lunch and drinks and it actually turned into a great day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Neglegence and irresponsibility of a farmer.

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Knock knock Who's there Isabelle Isabelle who? Is-a-bell necessary on a bike

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Darnell has a 2 ounce gold chain around his neck. Gold is worth $1,639 per ounce. Where did Darnell steal the gold chain from?

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What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A Coffin.

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What did one planet say to the other? Nothing. Space is a vacuum in which sound cannot propagate due to the absence of a matter or particle medium.

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How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

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Knock Knock No one's home Okay, I'll come back later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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