What do people call the completely paralyzed man with no eyes? David, his name.

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how do you have sex? i dont know im under age!

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What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Your girlfriend.

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nick walked into macdonalds... everyone stood up and left as they saw the potential danger in the situation.. nick later ended up bieng hit by a bus after chasing a duck

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw 'em.

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If you spill milk Don't cry over it..... Clean it up.

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A man walks into a bar. Realizing he forgot his ID, he leaves.

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You see the love of your life. You can't say anything. She walks toward you. You can't move. She sits on you. You can't do anything. She starts crapping on you. You realize your a toilet. -Adam Chebali

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Who the hell knows..?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a giant scorpion.

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chickens, roads, horses, bars,roses, violets, sally, knock, knock, fnord

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Abe Lincholn had a son, But he died

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Why is Joe is ugly? I dont Know

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Doctor! Doctor! There's a fly in my soup! Gross.

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Before her maiden voyage, they told the Titanic she could become anything. So she became a submarine.

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How are friends and trees alike? They fall down when you hit them with an ax.

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Why did the boy do his homework? For fun.

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a guy named bob likes sprinkles on his ice cream.

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Why did the man eat his own shoe? Because it was a tissue box.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why did the duly oppressed individual where sunglasses? Because the sun was bright.

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Why was the black man out of a job? because he was recently laid off and had not found any job offerings that he would be interested in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops