Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q. What's the definition of mixed emotions? A. Watching your attorney drive off a cliff in your new car.

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What did the man say when he realized that he was late for work? "Shit, I'm late for work."

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Whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout? The boy scout comes home from camp.

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Why did the grandma stop baking cookies? Because she is an aging widow suffering from depression because her family seems to forget her existance as she barely lives day by day wilting in her 1 bedroom home.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse replies, "my wife has cancer."

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Why didn't the little boy wake up today? Because he's dead

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How do you kill a fat guy Keep giving him food he'll die eventually.

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A chicken walks into McDonalds. He never comes out because he got grilled, greased, and seasoned.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.. And IDGAF!

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A Christian, a Sunni Muslim, and a Shi'a Muslim walked into a government building. Turns out, they were Lebanese, so this was a normal occurrence. Thus, to draw any humor from it before first taking into account the weaknesses of your own government would be both unwise and unfair.

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whats the fastest way to be murdered tell your wife your cheating on her

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls along with all other dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.

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knock knock who's there Romney Romney Who? RON PAUL 2012

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Where was susie after the explosion? Everywhere

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whats red and smells like cherries red cherries

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Your mama's so stupid, she gave birth to YOU.

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A polar bear and a seal are sitting on an ice floe. The polar bear looks at the seal and says, "RAWRRRRRRRRRGGG" and then kills and eats him.

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Why are you so gay? Because I am a homosexual.

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Why did the homeless man steal food from the local grocery store? He had not eaten in three days and was forced to steal or risk possible starvation.

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Mooses

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Two men walk in to a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H20" The second man says "I'll have some H20, too." They both received glasses of water.

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Why wasn't Hellen Keller a good driver? She didnt get her driver license...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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