-What do you do when the dishwasher is broken? -Slap HER!

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There are two cows in a field. One cow says to the other - 'Are you afraid of the mad cow disease?' The other cow says - 'No, cuz I'm a duck.'

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Bond. Bond who? James Bond. na-na NA NA na-na na

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roses are red vilits are blue get in the van or i kill you

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Roses are red violets are blue shes for me not for u if by chance u talk my place ill grab my fist and smah your face

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Why did the student have a staring contest with his teacher? Well, the teacher was actually unaware of the competition.

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What do you call a Mexican kicking a ball? A soccer player

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If I was in a room with Osama bin laden and george bush, and my friend. And I had a gun with two bullets, I'd shoot my friend twice.

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what happens when an Asian and a Jew get married. They have children.

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Why did the white man buy a new pair of socks? His old ones has holes.

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why did the other chicken cross the road peer pressure

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Me: Ask my if I'm a secret agent. You: Are you a secret agent? Me: I cannot disclose that information.

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If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests? Tests.

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how does wasabi stay open during summer because tiffany is a nice person

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There was once a man who lived in a box.

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

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Why didn't the Mexican have a job? Because stereotypes made employers unjustly reluctant to hire a hard-working, competent man.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monekey fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game. Why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the girl fall of of her bike? She was hit by three monkeys and a refridgerator

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What's big and grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

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nathan your cats dead now...well hopefully

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? Lawyers exist, are alive and despite all claims to the contrary, can withstand sunlight, garlic and the sign of the cross. They also have reflections and whilst they may eat black pudding from time to time they don't depend on blood as a source of nutrition.

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What did the Big Chimney say to the Little Chimney? Nothing, chimneys are unable to talk.

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What should you do if you are being chased by a black man. keep running and if he tag's you, then you should try tag him back since this is a simple game of tag.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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