What did hitler say to the jacket potato? Your fucked now!

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Why did the bird plummet to the earth? It was shot.

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Bob: Say this word that I spell out. Jane: Ok Bob: N.I.N.A. Jane: Um...Nina? Bob: Correct. Now try N.I.N.O. Jane: Nino like el nino Bob: Good. How about N.I.N.E. Jane: Ninny? Bob: Hahaha wrong

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What's 100 times worse that finding an worm in your Apple listening to Justin B. Sing! :-)

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Humans are pathetic: What kind of heaven is it when you die, and learn that everybody you love chose the wrong religion and is burning in hell? Moral: Human garbage!

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I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road without their motives being questioned.

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Why don't birds cry when they get hurt, lose a loved one, or watch opera? How the f*** should I know.

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my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have STD's, Now so do you!

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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your mommas so fat she jumped for joy and got stuck

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What's worse than being raped? Finding out it was your uncle.

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I like poop in my butt

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Whats worst than the holocaust? What? 6million Jews.

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What's worse than scraping your knee? Getting a needle shoved into your penis and the needle hitting your scrotum so that you are in serious agony for hours and finding out you cannot have kids because of it.

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Q.What is black and white and red (read) all over? A. A penguin in a blender.

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A muslim man with a long beard and wearing a turban and robe boards an aircraft with a large suitcase. The plane later arrives at its destination a few minutes past the estimated arrival time due to bad weather.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a retarded failure

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Often, Asians argue that they can speak properly... Like instead of L's, they use "R's." Sure... http://eng.tekkenpedia.com/wiki/Leo#Introduction

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Why did the mokey board the westbound train? I said gray umbrella noodle head!

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Your mother's breasts sag so low that the late great impressionist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

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Ps: Its "Cain" again, just for matters of security here, how did he install power wires under the basement? How are you even able to use your computer over there?

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Q. Why did the teacher trip and fall? A. Because his left foot was gnawed off by a camel, and he often finds it difficult to walk.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your window is open I'm watching you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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