why did the man get ran over by a turtle? he crossed the STREET

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What did the scuba diver say to his partner when he got stuck in some seaweed. Something that sort of sounded like glug, or maybe blub, or some other sound you would hear trying to talk underwater.

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Theodore was a small kid that lived down the street. Little did he know, that Kaiwen the Poor Pedo was his next door neighbour. So he was walking one day down the street. He saw Kaiwen dead. Because he ate too much sugar. So Theodore called the police. But his phone broke suddenly. Theodore realized that his brother had filled it with broken eggshells. He was sad. He took out a few golf balls and stuffed them in his mouth. But he couldnt forget taht a fellow neighbour had died. He buried the body beneath the Carpet of Ol' Justin's House. He wasnt happy. His dad confiscated his laptop. And the golf balls

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Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I`ve got a car behind me. Don`t worry about that you have aids.

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ADAM FANTUZZI SUCKS KIRANS BALL SACK

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A woman is hit by a car. Thankfully she manages to survive, but the driver is fined a lot of money for speeding.

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Person 1: Why don't you want to date me? Person 2: Because you are ugly Person 1: Why am I ugly? Person 2: Because you have bad features. Person 1: Why do i have bad features? Person 2: It's your genetics. Person 1: Why is it my genetics Person 2: Cuz that's the way god made you Person 1: Why? Person 2: Because god's god made you Person 1: Why Person 2: Because the god of god of god made you Person 1: Why? Person 2: That's the way the god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of (GOES ON FOREVER!!!) made you.

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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Why did the gay man sneek out of the brothel? Because he was ashamed of his well paying reception job

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What's the same between a white guy and a black guy? They are both white except for the black guy.

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What has 4 legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you a pool table

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You you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you. Way do go lazy you didn't read all the you's so you didn't realize there was a yoo in there. But now you realize there aren't any yoo's there way to go.

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Why was the little boy nervous about playing with the little girl? Because she had gonorrhea.

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I got on a bus, and immediately found that sitting on a bus is boring. I will never climb on top of a bus again.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The fact that you actually took time to read this cynically hypnotizing answer that you cannot seem to stop reading even though you know that this sentence is just a clever run to show the epitomy of the anti joke. ha-ha.

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Why did the little girl cross the road??? To get away from the strange man

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How many blondes did it take to screw in the lightbulb? Just one. She did a fine job.

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If I had a nickel for every time I heard that... I'd most likely have no money as I would spend it all on cocaine.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Goodbye to the people who hated on me

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Ol-ive

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roses are red violets are blue i smell meth abkfjbekfhbkfsdshjfbkhb

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Roses are red Violets are blue Polytetrafluoroethylene is a synthetic fluoropolymer of tetrafluoroethylene that has numerous applications

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why are black people always so funny because they think of funny jokes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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