Why did the Zombie kill and eat a man? Because it was hungry.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My heart skipped a beat, I'm dead.

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A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue These are your Results You have Cancer

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person 1: don't look person 2:Why person 1:because my shirt not on and my boobs are jiggiling

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Yo mama so fat, she suffered a heart attack last week and we are all deeply concerned.

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What's funnier than 9/11? Nothing. 9/11 wasn't funny. It was a terrible tragedy, the most tragic in U.S. history. If you think that is funny you are a sick person. By: Logan in South Dakota

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What is black and white and red all over? I don't know. I was hoping you did.

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Why are black people scared of chainsaws? Because the chainsaws go run nigga nigga run.

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yo mamas so ugly she is often made fun of andridiculed about her appearance.

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Roes are red Violets are blue I have a potato Let's make pie

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This poem is getting old, I like cookies.

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teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

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how do you get an A in a class? idk never got on.

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why did the man get ran over by a turtle? he crossed the STREET

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what happens when Pinocchio says "My nose is growing"?

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What did the little girl get for Christmas? A pipe bomb

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so your in a room with mickey mouse and the lights go off, how did the lights go off mickey mouse turned them off

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven beat and raped Six when he was child multiple times, and Seven threatened to kill Six if he told anyone.

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What's the opposite of a joke? An Anti-Joke.

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People who are addicted to brake fluid just can't stop.

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Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

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Why couldn't the teen go to the prom? He was busy working to help his mom recover from breast cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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