Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This poem is getting old, I like cookies.

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Knock, Knock. Who's There? Its Greg. I forgot my keys, can you let me back in?

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person 1: don't look person 2:Why person 1:because my shirt not on and my boobs are jiggiling

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What's the opposite of a joke? An Anti-Joke.

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what happens when Pinocchio says "My nose is growing"?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My heart skipped a beat, I'm dead.

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A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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An itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout Down came my dick, and forced the spider out

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why was the black man running away from the convenient store? He was going for a jog and it just so happened that he passed by the store

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue These are your Results You have Cancer

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Roes are red Violets are blue I have a potato Let's make pie

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Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

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yo mamas so ugly she is often made fun of andridiculed about her appearance.

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teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven beat and raped Six when he was child multiple times, and Seven threatened to kill Six if he told anyone.

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What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

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What did the little girl get for Christmas? A pipe bomb

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Why did the Zombie kill and eat a man? Because it was hungry.

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so your in a room with mickey mouse and the lights go off, how did the lights go off mickey mouse turned them off

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why did the man get ran over by a turtle? he crossed the STREET

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Whats the difference between an aboriginal and a deer? Nothing, infact they are quite similar, they have no house and smell like wild animals and jaywalk.

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What is black and white and red all over? I don't know. I was hoping you did.

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Yo mama so fat, she suffered a heart attack last week and we are all deeply concerned.

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Why are black people scared of chainsaws? Because the chainsaws go run nigga nigga run.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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