So, my friend David hasn't always been the sharpest tool in the shed. After all, he is a spoon.

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A girl and her family were walking by a cliff. Suddenly - due to a a part of the cliff falling away - her family fell over the edge and died. The girl ran to the bottom of the cliff and saw her family's body's strewn across the rocks, blood everywhere. She didn't have a phone on her and so could not call the police. She called over a man she saw in the distance. He asked "What's happened?". Just managing to stammer the words through her tears she said "My entire family fell off a cliff and died". The man unzipped his trousers and said "This really isn't your day is it love?"

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Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

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I'd tell you a joke about Uganda but it wouldn't be worth it as it probably would keep a low score and possibly even get deleted for staying a week with a negative rating, for a number of reasons including that it isn't particularly funny, it was copied from another website and it is slightly racist. Taking into account what most people look for in a joke, it doesn't necessarily meet their needs and would more than likely fall into a lame category. And for that reason I have not submitted it.

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Whats fat and gay joe diragi

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What's funnier than 24? 25

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2 black kids walk into school

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Why couldn't the little boy open his bedroom door? He was dead.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why did the little boy cry? Because he was badly burnt in a house fire.

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why did Suzie fall off the swing? because she had no arms.... well then knock knock! whis there? suzie. suzie who? she doesnt know either...she has no arms!

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Manchester City

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A black man, an asian man, and a gay man walk into a bar. What do they do? They mourn the loss of their dead friend.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson play with my brother anymore? Because he's dead.

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Why was the teacher having sex with her pupils? Because it was 2145 and that kind of shit is common then

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swings? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Sarah

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What was the women doing out of the kitchen? Watching the movie 'Birth of a Nation' at her father's house

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Is it a ironic if a man with ADD is driving a Ford Focus?

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Why couldnt the man buy food? Because.

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SUCK MY 29 AND A HALF FOOT LONG DICK BITCH JUST KIDDING............ IT IS 69 FEET LONG GIGADY

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What do you call a boy that was once a boy, but no longer is a boy? A Man

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What do the Mexican man, the Asian man and the Jewish man all have in common? "man"

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what is the difference between a baby and a book... The book still has a spine

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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