If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

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I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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Yesterday, I was assasinated.

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Everybody has a penis! EVERY BODY! WHY can't feminists admit this obvious anatomical fact? Gahhhh!

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Why is it so hard to cook vegetables? The wheel chair won't fit in the oven.

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God told John to come forth and recieve internal golry forever. John came fifth and recieved a toaster.

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Knock knock Who's there? Barack obama

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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why was the old man cold? ...WHY?

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A man was walking down the sidewalk. Then he turned into a drugstore.

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Chuck Norris was the leading role in the television show Walker, Texas Ranger.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Get a giant scorpion to rape him.

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How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously more than six because my bass meant is still dark.

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What do bluejays and cardinals have in common? They both Were born during the Medevil period.

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? Becuase he was hit by a couch.

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You know what's sad and Funny? When a guy walks into a gay bar and doesn't get hit on.

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Why couldn't the boy talk? He had his fathers hairy scrote was in his mouth

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A man walked into a bar....he's OK.

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Three blind men walk into a bar, and, no... wait, sorry just one; so one blind man walked into a bar, and... uh, okay, so it was actually more of a small post. This is pretty much just a plausible, yet unfortunate event. My bad.

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

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Why is Brodie Invited to Orlando? To make the beds

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How do you get Sally of the swing? Throw a clown at her.

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How did the black kid apply for college? The Common App. Duhh

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Old, Asian, Woman who drive

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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