Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Its very nice.

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How did Billy tip the cow? He didn't, cows are animals and that would be wrong.

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How many people does it take to make a fun party? Idk, that's why I asked you, you see I'm throwing a party and wantedto know how many people I should invite.

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what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

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Q. what has 2 tums and a boner. A. a horny guy <3

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What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Ferrari? That was my Ferrari by darragh hamilton

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face" To which the horse replies by trampling him to death for making rude remarks about his face.

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? RAPED.

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A. Knock Knock B. ... A. Knock Knock B. ... A. DING DONG B. Who's there? A. Me, I tried knocking first but you musn't have heard me, so I rang the doorbell.

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One day a black man went and bought a car with his own hard-earned money.

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what taste like an apple, looks like an apple, but isnt an apple? an apple.

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What did the cake say to the icing? Come here

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You: I have a question Person: Yes You: Do you have an answer?

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You're walking down a street and you see a man struggling to open a door, what do you do? Whatever you feel like doing.

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What's big and grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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How many pupils does the teacher have? 2.

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Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

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(A man goes to visit his neighbor) Knock! Knock! ...................... ................... ................ ............ he walks back home

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Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

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what did the little boy say to his mom? nothing his mother died in childbirth.

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What happened to the lion which escaped from the zoo? It was successfully recaptured.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm going to murder you Did you look behind you?

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What did the girl say to the other girl? Nothing. She got hit in the head with a pineapple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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