What does a blonde say when she wants to order a large pizza ? "Hi, I would like a large pizza, please."

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Their was three black men that walked into a bar. They then ordered three drinks and had sex... I lied about walking into a bar

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Whats the biggest party fowl? Murder

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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where does al queda go on a business trip the twin towers

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What's the opposite of white? Black. You're racist. You fapped.

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what did the woman call the man who ate Ham? A Pig

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Why did the bunny cross the road? Because it waited until a car was driving by and then got run over.

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Apirl showers bring... Tornadoes that kill families

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Did You Hear About That Mexican Who Went To College? no. Well plenty of them go to college every day. thats good to know.

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What do you call a 5000 pound gorilla? Obese - gorillas should weigh around 400 pounds.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead got into a street fight. who won? The redhead because she had a gun.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Q. What do you call a child with no friends or family A. Adopted

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How can you tell if a dog is under your chair? Look under your chair

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what do you call an evening with richard? a waste of time

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Chuck Norris' beard takes 1st 2nd and 3rd in the most impressive beard catagory. He was the only contestant.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a convicted rapist.

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YO MAMA'S SO , A STUPID, THAT SHE PUT 2 QUARTERS IN HER EARS AND THOUGHT THAT SHE WAS LISTENING TO FIFTY-CENT!!!

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A friend? Just a friend that you told to stop pretending to be me? And you had no idea whatsoever that I am Nero as in not one of the six hundred thousand wabbabes?

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Why is it okay to have four cats? Because I said so.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Ted. Oh, Hey Ted.

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A. Knock Knock B. There is noone home so the individual goes home

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out if the tree? He was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, Monkey do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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