Who lived in a pineapple under the sea?

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! What's good for the goose Is good for the gander I'm Donald Trump!

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Yo mama so fat, that she's even bigger than the universe!

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What do you call a purple apple? Bruised.

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he was about to be shot for attempting to assassinate the president.

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man? The black man eats chicken.

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A sign at the drug rehab centre said keep off the grass. Jimmy thought it was a joke. So the groundskeeper chopped his legs off.

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Hey do you know who is in the yard? Not the boys, they all died in a horrific fire last Christmas.

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waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

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There was an elephant , a bird, a man, a tree, a cat, a dog, a lion, a horse, a cow, a pig, a duck, a lemon, a turnip, an apple, a rabbit, a slice of pizza and a spoon. I just wasted around 8 seconds of your life

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What's got one leg and no eyes? A leg.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? -She had no arms *Knock Knock* Who's there? -Not Sara!

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why did the panda go to the store? to buy milk.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender say, "Sorry, we don't serve your kind here." The man continues to order a drink when he realises the comment was directed at the elephant standind behind him.

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What's the differece between a rock and a black guy? A rock can't eat fried chicken.

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AIDS is not a lifestyle it's a choice - and you chose wrong.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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A blonde is walking down the road, and she sees a sign saying STOP. She carries on walking. As a pedestrian, the sign does not apply to her.

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Why did the bunny cross the road? Because it waited until a car was driving by and then got run over.

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A woman walks into the kitchen to see her husband cooking dinner because gender stereotypes have been dead for years.

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"Ask me if I'm a tree," "Are you a tree?" "No."

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Roses are red, yup.

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What looks like poo but is rainbow colored? Rainbow colored poo.

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I walk the path less taken. Moral: Everything in life is a moral, as far as I care immorality does not exist, everything goes, I AM MORAL MAN!! He`s the MORAL MAN IIS HEE A MORAAL OR IS HEE... (you know Ozzy) AND NOW THAT YOU ARE DOMINATED you can go back to your fun, or reply, again, but you see, at this point I am already elswhere, so if you reply, you lose your control of your nasal coughanalcough nerve endings, and the potency of course.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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