How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 0

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Q. What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? A. Matt

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whats my name? Matt

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of water. A few seconds later he drinks the water.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? It was taped to the other monkey

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What do you call an orange fruit? An Orange.

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Why did the duck cross the road? It followed the chicken.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender asks why the long face. The guy responds because cancer is a horrible disease. Oh yah did I mention the guy has cancer? $

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why did no one help him up? Because nobody liked him.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

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YO MAMA'S SO , A STUPID, THAT SHE PUT 2 QUARTERS IN HER EARS AND THOUGHT THAT SHE WAS LISTENING TO FIFTY-CENT!!!

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what did the woman call the man who ate Ham? A Pig

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Did You Hear About That Mexican Who Went To College? no. Well plenty of them go to college every day. thats good to know.

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What's the opposite of white? Black. You're racist. You fapped.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Their was three black men that walked into a bar. They then ordered three drinks and had sex... I lied about walking into a bar

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3 black guys are in the back of a car. Who is driving? A taxi driver

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what do you call an evening with richard? a waste of time

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What does a blonde say when she wants to order a large pizza ? "Hi, I would like a large pizza, please."

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Apirl showers bring... Tornadoes that kill families

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What do you call a 5000 pound gorilla? Obese - gorillas should weigh around 400 pounds.

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Whats the biggest party fowl? Murder

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Q. What do you call a child with no friends or family A. Adopted

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Jackie Chan walks into a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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