What's green and red? A frog in a blender

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Q: What's one thing that 5 out of 6 people always agree on? A: Gang Rape

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How do you make your mom mad? Burn down the house and eat the dog.

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What's 18 inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

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whats better than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees whats better than 1 baby nailed to 10 trees? 10 trees nailed to 1 baby

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My daughter's so smart, that instead of texting K, she writes Potassium.

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Two penguins sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap." The other says, "What do you think I am, a clock!?!?"

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Sixty... eight

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Why is moral man a great Cerebrity? you would not get it, its too cerebral... Moral: I SAID LEAVE HIM ALONE PLEAAAAAAAAAASE! BUAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHA!

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no jokes left :( ill try to make some more the ones with nude in my comments is mine

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Why cant Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukaemia.

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Whats green, furry and it stole christmas? A Robber with a Christmas tree on his back

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he's not gonna come

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Q. There were 2 Mexicans in a car, who was driving it? A. The police officer.

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

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What dd the man say to his wife? Make me a samich!

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Your mother is so ugly, her genes were passed down through two generations, and now your children are of a similar caliber of ugliness. I'm so sorry.

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Person 1: want to hear a joke? person 2: yes.

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What's worse than being a Jew in the Holocaust? Nothing.

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Man: Did it hurt? Woman: huh? Man: Did it hurt when i killed your family?

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what did the philosopher say, when he considered the transient nature of life in relation to ones own personal and egocentric grasp upon circumstance and purpose? massive erection.

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Two muffins are in the oven, one muffin says "Gosh it's hot in here!", the other muffin says "HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!".

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What do you call six white guys on a bench? Six white guys at the park

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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