I used to work as a human cannonball. I thought I was going to get fired, however during one performance the trajectory was miscalculated and I ended up severely damaging my spinal cord. I now work from home as a IT consultant. It's depressing.

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why did the guy make a deer and and bear mix because he wanted some beer

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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Why couldn't the black guy support his family? He was only 3 years old.

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What's the difference between an airplane and a cantaloupe? What? Wow your a dumby head.

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Why was Barack Obama wearing a Justin Bieber T-Shirt and slapping you with a pitchfork? Because you didn't listen to me when I told you to stop doing shrooms

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The lion swallowed his pride.

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Whats the difference between Qantas and Malaysia Airlines? Qantas only looses money.

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roses are red violets are red? trees are red!? who the hell cut themselves?

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take away his glass of water.

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What can't catch or throw? A Quadriplegic

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What did one tampon say to another? Nothing they were both stuck up.

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My uncle got hit by a truck, what was the last thing to go through his mind? The drive shaft.

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Q: Whats Brown and sticky A: an eagle except for the brown and sticky part

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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I met a muslim girl the other day Shes the bomb

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What's the difference between a fat person and a whale? The quality of the fat. -Japan

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What did the depressed man get for his birthday? a rope

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Ellen: Knock knock Steve: Who's there? Ellen: Banana Steve: Banana who? Ellen is offline and can't receive messages right now.

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I walk the path less taken. Moral: Everything in life is a moral, as far as I care immorality does not exist, everything goes, I AM MORAL MAN!! He`s the MORAL MAN IIS HEE A MORAAL OR IS HEE... (you know Ozzy) AND NOW THAT YOU ARE DOMINATED you can go back to your fun, or reply, again, but you see, at this point I am already elswhere, so if you reply, you lose your control of your nasal coughanalcough nerve endings, and the potency of course.

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hi

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if you don't like this you're gay

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chuck norris was shot yesterday... tomorrow is the bullets funeral.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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