a dumb blond walks into a hair salon and gets her hair died brown... she is now a dumb brunette

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Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

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What do kittens and napkins have in common? You can sneeze into both of them except the kitten doesn't like it

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Two gay men are seen walking down a street in Texas. Actually now that I think about it homosexuality is pretty much outlawed in Texas. Two gay men are thrown into a Texan Jail where they spend the rest of their lives, cold hungry and alone.

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What's more horrible than Twilight? Hitler.

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Robert Mugabe.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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why does everyone like this website? ... because every other joke a little baby is dying.

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A cowboy rides out to the middle of nowhere and then shoots his horse. He then makes his way back into town and meets a man in the saloon. The man says, "On second thought, I'd like to buy that horse."

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Why did the chicken rape your...wait, that's not how it goes!

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are powerful machines, capable of dismemberment and death when wielded by someone who wishes to cause harm

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Who is fat, stupid and pretty dam ugly? (hint: look in mirror)

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why is the earth mad at the moon? cause the moon mooned the earth

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how do you make a plumer cry kill his family

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Why can't black people get sunburned? Natural selection allowed ancient Africans to develop a darker skin shade that would counter strong UV rays.

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Roses are yellow, violets are grey, I'm colorblind

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Knock knock. Who's there? Blanket Blanket who? Blanket, son of deceased recording artist Michael Jackson. Ever since his father died there has been so much stress in the family that he could not handle it. He ran away and is now seeking shelter and grief council.

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A chicken crossed the road. It was run over before reaching the other side. by fast asleep

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A boy walked in on his mom and dad in their bedroom last night they were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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Who has lots of friends, but smells like urinate feceas? Smelly McD, I lied about the friends.

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Q: How many times did the chicken cross the road? A: One and a half.

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw them

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Yo mama so fat because it's in her genes.

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Jewish guy walks into a bar. He owns the place.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops