Person 1: want to hear a joke? person 2: yes.

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How do you survive the zombie apocolypse? You avoid dieing or being mutated in the living dead.

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chuck norris once kicked a man verry hard that man proceded to lose contiosness and chuck norris was disqualified from the martial arts compatition

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How many asian children does it take for Gary Glitter to get aroused? Just one.

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I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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Anti-Joke Memes Are Obviously Not A Thing

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy but here's my chew toy throw it maybe!

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a tape worm in your apple.

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What did the woman say to the man before she had sex with him? "May I have sex with you, please?"

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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Cancer.

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Q. Why was the black man sad? A. He had a book nailed into is leg.

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Bill had two options the red truck or the blue sedan. Your mother is a whore.

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How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously more than six because my bass meant is still dark.

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What did the rock say to the tree. It didn't say anything, rocks don't talk.

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why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone? because he was hit by the planes that hit twin towers

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A Canadian walks into a bar, he rubs his head, steps around the bar, and walks into a bar. He has a great time hanging out with his friends and having a few drinks

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A black man walks into a movie theatre... And pay for a ticket that would grant him access to watch the verity Of movies available to watch that month of screening. He picks the warhorse which was critically acclaimed by many respected critics. He watched and observed the positive and negative points of the the film. When it ended he took a long a ride home on the number 76 bus to ibswitch road where he lived during that time, and wrote about his opionion on the movie and how he thought the movie could be improved. He done this same routen for another six months, every saturday, until he died of aids shorty after a homosexual fling.

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Cannot tell, national security. As far as I care we are friends, therefore I cannot continue chatting with you for a while, its gonna seem pretty damn suspicious, I wont be repeating myself. Except again, do not worry, we will take care of this, and if not, I will contact you, you are not in any danger for the mean being, whoever are against us are looking for "Nero", not you, and I am pretty damn safe. By the way, I never lost an eye, but your "wiz" revealed himself by sharing that information, that part was the only ploy as far as I care, and it was necessary for everybody`s survival. Do not worry friend, I will call you sometime, but I recommend we stay off touch for at least 3 months, and that you stop using this site.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Boom! Splat! You'll never know.

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What did the black man say when he met a white man in the street? "Hello, how are you?"

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''Hey, this is absolutely true. There's an organization now called 'Draft Dick Cheney for President, 2012.' Yeah. Good luck with that. They tried to draft Dick Cheney five times during Vietnam. That didn't work.

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A duck walks into a store and asks the clerk, "do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the same duck walks back into the store, and asks the clerk if they have any grapes. The clerk, slightly annoyed, says no again, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back in and asks again if they have any grapes. The pissed off clerk says, "No, and if you ask again i'm gonna nail your feet to the floor. The duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back into the store, and this time he asks the clerk, "do you have any nails?" The clerk says, "Yes." The Duck leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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