Knock Knock. Who's there? Your doctor, You've been diagnosed with venereal disease.

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A man walks into a bar. Ow

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What did the dinosaur say to the centipede? Its funny cause the dinosaur is big and the centipede is small. Also dinosaurs can't even talk!

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Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams,heat does.

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Why did the Chinese man fall down the stairs? He was shot in the face.

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What did the blonde say when she saw a tan button on her calculator? That must mean tangent.

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Q: what did humoure say to lie A: u must be tellin a lie

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice titttttss.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the bag.

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What did the drunk man say to the average civilian? Blahaahahahahahuhuh!

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when the zombie apocolypse comes what do you do? you die

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How did the teenage mother get her baby to stop crying? Multiple stab wounds to its throat

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Its Eliza, hope you are still there, would you mind getting here sooner? This site is not safe, besides its cold here, I mean send somebody else if you got to, I might look frail but Nero taught me a thing or two, so I can honestly say that Nero taught me better than you guys just in case. Funny you say there is no code, yet add three, yeah you better expect nothing "fancy", Mr.Torture dungeon master. Honestly though I do not blame you, and if I really meant you where a psycho, I would not have agreed/asked you showed up, I am serious I need to get out of here.

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What did the bullet say to Bin-Laden? Suck it

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What's worse than fingering your sister and finding your father's wedding ring ? 3 bee stings.

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What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

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"What's wrong?" "I can't fap." "Why not?" "Because I saw your face."

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Whats worse than one dead guy? 2 dead guys

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Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

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Whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Then none of us want to be right.

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A girl walked into a bar and sat next to a man. She asked what he was drinking. He said something that makes you fly. She didn't believe him. He then went up to the roof, jumped off and walked back in the front door. She got the drink then tried to jump off the roof, and died on impact. The bartender said to the man "You're a real asshole when you're drunk superman."

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This site.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops