What did the Watermelon say to its baby? I'll SEED you later!

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I am Asian, I've seen the color blue, but God made a mistake, Asians are taller than you.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He had a few drinks then went home.

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Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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What did the black guy get from his white girlfriend for valentines day? An HIV positive test result.

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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A guy walked into a restaurant. He sat down and had a lovely meal left the restaurant got in his car and went home. The End

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A black man is driving a nice car when he's suddenly pulled over by the police. "Do you know why I pulled you over?" asks the cop. "No officer" replies the black man. "You have a taillight out. However I'm going to just let you off with a warning because you seem like an upstanding citizen. Have a nice day."

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What did the previously pregnant teen flush down the toilet? Her beloved pet goldfish who recently died. She had already given birth to a healthy baby the previous year.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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A blode walks into a bar, She gets her hair dyed brown and is later presumed smarter due to a the genral public being steriotipical.

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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What's worse than Gordon Brown's face? George Bush.

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What do you get when you cross a computer with a whore? A:porn

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What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

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What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? We are both dinosaurs.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Herpes. Bummer.

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? They're both purple expect the rabbit

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okay so theres this guy.

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Why Did the man Commit suicide? His body used cellular respiration to make ATP (A form of energy) and his body used it to send electrical signals to his index finger to pull the trigger on his .357 Magnum, thus putting a bullet through the soft tissue in his brain causing his body to shut down Imediately!

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Your mommas so fat she jumped into the ocean and immediately had to start swimming.

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Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Why did the dog cross the road? Because he saw another dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops