What do you call a person with no eyes, ears, or mouth? Helen Keller

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What do Michael Jackson and a throbbing, greasy, overcooked Shitake Mushroom have in common? Nothing. Just nothing at all.

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Yo mama is so fat, she just had a heart-attack.

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why did the plane crash?.............the pilot was a tomato

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide

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people magazine

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What do you do when a burglar breaks into your house and tries to kill and rape you and you family? Nothing, he as an AK-47 and shoots you all dead and then has sex with your corpses.

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Wanna hear a joke? Your life.

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How did the black man survive the Train crash? He didnt, he died liked everyone else

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What happens when a chicken with a goat have sex? nothing.

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11/9 Americans won't get this joke.

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What's worse than sitting through a boring class? Sitting on a bus that a terrorist is about to blow up.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Knock knock? Whose There? Not Suzie, She can't knock

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Why did the helicopter crash? Because the driver was fat.

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your goin down...aint no tomorrow...wha bang bang

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How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

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What is brown and lives in a toilet? A black homeless man

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Women don't have penises. Am I the only one who can't get over how WEIRD that is?!?!?

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What made Qtip's so dangerous? Q-tip's music

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Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, I very sorry.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? your enemy your enemy who? your nemesis who was brutally raped and murdered last nigh.

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This is hypothetical remember, just examples with no roots in real life events. The problem with your former employee, was that he would easily have played the victim, certain organizations would have paid him a fortune for the intel he had collected, and surely also agreed to let him walk away, and get you and your small (relatively) crack team death penalty on the spot, just like the underground, you would have been branded terrorists simply because certain people would have earned billions by doing so. The wizard would most likely have gone free, as long as he shared every tiny bit of info, then the cops, the feds, would have blamed it all on you for being his supervisor, you would not have survived the ordeal, trust me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops