I beheld M.Bison/Raul Julia, as I fell down from the sky LIKE LIGHTNING! Your friendly r*pist Moral Man: You don`t like me? MAAN That gets me on... As for Horny, I was born with two of them... The third is a burning stake. ...So you like me... Meh! No fun when they don`t struggle nor squeal, even if they do scream in pain...

What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney Loves you.

Why did the man take a shower?, he didint smell so good...

What did the Chicken say to the Interviewer Interviewer: how do you feel about your eggs chicken: the eggs are actually my periods. Interviewer: how do you feel about your periods ChicKen: you eat my periods everyday. people make cakes, omlettes and all these food out of my period. Imagine the world running on your period. Interviewer: what are your feelings on your periods Chicken: I have a mixture of feelings. i feel really scared because the farmers would kill me if i can have my periods. i feel glorified because the world runs on my eggs and i feel proud. I feel freaked out because the world actualy runs on my periods

Whats funnier then a dead baby a dead baby dressed as a clown

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

A baby crawls into a bar. He cannot walk.

There once was a man from Nantucket Who got his head stuck in a bucket He yanked and he yowled, he hollered and howled, Then gave up and grumbled, "Aw, I guess I'll have to go to the doctor."

Female Orgasms

Knock knock. Who's there? Potatoes. Potatoes who? Garlic salt.

How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

What's green and eats rocks? A green rock eater What's purple and eats rocks? It hasn't been discovered by science yet...

What"s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

Whats better then having 10 fingers Having 11

Knock Knock Who's There? Ted. Oh, Hey Ted.

If you listen to Justin Beiber all day long, what do you become? Very hungry and thirsty. And you need to go to the restroom.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not to a blind guy.

A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

Why was the trash man feeling sad about his life? Because he had a mild case of depression to which his doctor recommended taking antidepressant pills.

Q: How did Helen Keller cross the street? A: She walked.

what does the monster eat after going to the dentist? the dentist

Knock Knock........wait there cars gone, I'll come back later

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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