A man walks into a metal bar He had a swell time.

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Doctor: I'm sorry about your disease, young man. It looks like your time is up. Man: NO! How much time to I have? Doctor: Five. Man: Five years? Five months? Five weeks? Doctor: Four... Three...

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Happy Birthday! Your mom is dead!

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A new born baby is left alone in his crib after a long day of playing, He gets taken out of his crib for his first meal with his grandparents, he is excited, His grandparents come in and after the usual praising of the child they sit down for dinner, They are having chicken, His mother puts the spoon to his mouth, He chews it and swallows it, It gets stuck in his throat and he suffocates and dies.

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Waiter, there is a hydrogen conducting carbon nanotube in my soup. That is part of the special, sir.

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Yo mama is so old, she might die soon! - Louis

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Why did Suzy drop her ball? Because roughly 5 years ago she was part of a car crash violently tearing off both of her arms. Knock knock. Who's there. NOT SUZY!

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What's Great and Danish? The Great Dane Kane.

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knock knock who's there Romney Romney Who? RON PAUL 2012

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High school is like forced anal sex, Hard, painful, and you cry your hopes and dreams at the end of it all.

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ejaculation JLR

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what did the cashier do when a Mexican robbed the store? call the police

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dyslexia is like gingervitus except they are exactly alike in possible little ways with gigantic raging boners CC

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How many cows does it take to screw in a light bulb? Either one super cow or none because cows don't even have apposable thumbs

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Whats funnier than 24. ... DEEZ NUTS.

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Why did the black man lose his leg? Because he was kidnapped and tortured.

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A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have alziemers banana cookie!

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I like to thumb up my own jokes.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb, one to suck my dick!

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What do you call a really old black person? Someone's grandfather

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What's the best way to piss off a feminist? R@pe her.

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There once was a boy walking over a railroad track. He got hit by a train. He died.

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Life gives you lemons you make lemonade. What do you do when life gives you melons... youre skrewed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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