What did lil' Suzy do when she got home from school? She was violently mutilated by a bear then continually but raped by a man she met on the Internet. Needless to say, she had a great time. -Harrison

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roses are red violets are blue get down your trousers cause im waiting for you

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Why did the woman come out of the kitchen? She didn't.

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What did the lion say on a hot day in Africa? Nothing, lions can't talk.

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Lisa: Omg Karen, just had sex with Ben, his weiner was sooo tiny lol. Ben: I think you sent me the wrong text.

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Knock knock Who's there? Owl Owl who? Owl Johnson, your neighbor. Oh hi Owl, please come in.

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what do u call a joke with no punchline? A non-harmful joke

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank

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Why is Joel even here? Sexperience.

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whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

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Why did the personal trainer get fired from the gym? He lacked good customer service skills.

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why did the jew cross the road? He didnt. He got stuck in the wire fence.

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Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

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Hey, you why you say poo poo nae nae watch me whip, and do the dougie, and then happy halloween? Potato Salad

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What do you call a man with a Club approaching a Seal Very Strong considering he can hold a building

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Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

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What did the man with no head get for Christmas? Nothing he was dead

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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roses are red violets should be purple

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What is the difference between a urologist and a can of chili? One is hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine.

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why was the man so good at holding stuff? he was born with 4 arms!

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is actually a really good question which leads me to wonder why the farmer let the chicken out in the first place.

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What do you call a black man that flies a plane? A pilot you racist bastard!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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