What happened when the boy got caught with his hand in the cookie jar? He gets shot in the face by Santa.

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Who wants water? I do.

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How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

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Why was the guy coverd in garbage. I don't know but their are a lot of homeless people that can't afford the good stuff.

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"Ask me if I'm a tree!" "Are you a tree?" "No."

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why did katy fall off her bike?

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what is sadder than lost in a ps4 game ? Your mom's funeral, she died in a horrible accident yesterday

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What is really hard around Kim Kardashian? Diamonds.

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HA HA HA HA HAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHYHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA - Bomber

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A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a fridge halfway through walking.

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whats worse than a paper cut? getting your head chopped off

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, because if it's black and white, it can't be red.

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How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

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Jimmy can't drive the tractor. Why can't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he's a patato

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How do you make a Bong Ki mad? Call him a Bong Ki.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because its a horse. It then poops on the floor and leaves

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When will pigs fly? When they grow horns

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What happens when you take a break from reality? Nothing, it's impossible, unless you live in a virtual world.

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Roses are red and so is venus now kneel down and suck my penis:)

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How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

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Whats worse then getting AIDS Math class

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Why was the man worried? because he had a shotgun up his ass

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Why did the boy collect poop? Because it was it was his dogs shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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