You in love with me? Like platonic? Fine, we will move operations elsewhere, you really got to tell me who you are working for someday.

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why was the woman in the kitchen? she was being held hostage there by Bob Saget

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There was a brunette, a blonde and a red head, They were all great friends!

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Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7? A. Because 7 was a scary dude.

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I just found my mum has Alzheimer's, I hope it isn't contagious cause my mum has it too

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My uncle said to me that life is like a box of chocolates But I'm lactose intolerant

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Roses are red Violets are T I T S I like T I T S T I T S

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A rooster lays an egg on the tip of a roof. Which side does it fall to? Roosters don't lay eggs

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ASIAN- Look me in the eyes Normal human being- open them

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What's black, blue, red, green, white, purple, orange, yellow, etc.? Last I checked, a bunch of colors

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Dude! That movie was so gay! It had a bunch of naked men having sex with other naked men!

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How do chinese name their kids? They drop silverware

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Bob Saget that is all

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Kid 1: Mama why is my name Daisy? Mama: Because when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head! Kid 2: Mama why is my name Rose? Mama: Becuase it was a nice name.

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You no what the biggest lie in history is? Agreeing to the terms and services whenever you sign up for a website

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. Due to the height of the fall, one of his ribs pierced his heart and he also suffered extensive head trauma and internal bleeding due to the force when he hit the floor, where he lay in agony for several hours before dying a slow, painful death.

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Seriously, all your new jokes are shit. They are either repeats of stuff previously on the site or they are just so unfunny you'd struggle to get a sympathy laugh from your mother. Please actually take the time to think of something worth submitting or do not submit at all. We know people with no arms can't knock on doors enough now, and many things are better than the holocaust. Do something new!

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What did the white person say to the black person? Nothing because he was black

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What's black and white all over and has a mouth? A Zebra

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If Michelle rides her bike at 15 mph for 20 minutes and Erik rides his bike at 20 mph for 12 minutes, why is Michelle not in the kitchen?

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Why do the children cry at dinner time? Becuase there mother forces them to eat her own faeces and takes pictures of them doing it and posts it on the internet.

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In 1843 when Man invented the moon, people set sail on ironclad ships to lands that sold items that weren't for sale in similar such stores in other lands not reachable by ironclad ships or dirigibles as they became known once they changed form completely and were a differentobject entirely and of no use for water transport. That's when the real revolution in telecommunications began, the truck drivers would use CB radios as early as 1287 and 1276 in Canada. the CB radio enabled the users to order pizza and develop symbiotic relationshiops with canvas. Amongst other things.

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Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car and laying on the side of the rode for 2 hours then you find out that your wife was cheating on you with her your own brouther

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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